The process of grieving occurs due to the loss of a loved one, and contains struggles of the confusion of what your life is going to be like without the person who meant the most to you. For me, this very special person was my grandpa Howie. The most difficult transition I’ve had to make in my life so far was learning to cope with the absence of my grandpa. Although I have definitely come a very long way, I don’t think the phases of grieving a loved one really do ever end. However, I think they first begin when one actually acknowledges that their loved one will no longer be with them. I specifically say acknowledge and not accept because I don’t think anyone can ever accept a death.
I can recall the moment I had found out the tragic news about the loss of my grandfather. I couldn’t even believe that his long, impacting life was over, and I remember feeling that mine was over as well. The hardest part was that I no longer had the person with me who used to get me through all of the rough times. My greatest motivation of being able to stay strong throughout this phase in my life, however, was the fact that I knew my grandpa would want to see me strong and smiling. He was the type of person who would look at the positives in every situation and always be thankful. At this point, however, I found no positives. Although keeping the smile my grandpa always loved to see on my face was almost impossible for me, I tried my best to do what would make him happy. At the sudden time of his loss, I still knew my grandpa was watching me, as I know he still continues to. At this time, I refused to talk to anyone about my family’s terrible loss. However, there was a turning point in the road. At my grandpa’s funeral, I read a eulogy. When I finished speaking, I realized it felt great to talk to my grandpa again, although he wasn’t standing there in front of me. I felt relieved, the best I had in days, because it was a, gloomy, yet cleansing feeling to talk about my wonderful grandpa. I had said one thing in my eulogy, however, that I wasn’t sure if I truly believed I could do.
“Grandpa, I know you will always watch down on me, and I’ll do this for you because I know it’s what you would like. Instead of mourning the times I had with you, I’m going to remember them in happiness and appreciate the fantastic times we were lucky enough to share,” I said to him. Although I wasn’t sure if this was possible, a year and a half later, I stand here today and couldn’t be more appreciative of the wonderful moments my grandpa and I shared. The more I think and talk about my grandpa, the more I feel his presence with me, which is the greatest feeling.
To me, the phases of grief are really all about realization, appreciation, memorization, and truly honoring your lost loved ones.
I can recall the moment I had found out the tragic news about the loss of my grandfather. I couldn’t even believe that his long, impacting life was over, and I remember feeling that mine was over as well. The hardest part was that I no longer had the person with me who used to get me through all of the rough times. My greatest motivation of being able to stay strong throughout this phase in my life, however, was the fact that I knew my grandpa would want to see me strong and smiling. He was the type of person who would look at the positives in every situation and always be thankful. At this point, however, I found no positives. Although keeping the smile my grandpa always loved to see on my face was almost impossible for me, I tried my best to do what would make him happy. At the sudden time of his loss, I still knew my grandpa was watching me, as I know he still continues to. At this time, I refused to talk to anyone about my family’s terrible loss. However, there was a turning point in the road. At my grandpa’s funeral, I read a eulogy. When I finished speaking, I realized it felt great to talk to my grandpa again, although he wasn’t standing there in front of me. I felt relieved, the best I had in days, because it was a, gloomy, yet cleansing feeling to talk about my wonderful grandpa. I had said one thing in my eulogy, however, that I wasn’t sure if I truly believed I could do.
“Grandpa, I know you will always watch down on me, and I’ll do this for you because I know it’s what you would like. Instead of mourning the times I had with you, I’m going to remember them in happiness and appreciate the fantastic times we were lucky enough to share,” I said to him. Although I wasn’t sure if this was possible, a year and a half later, I stand here today and couldn’t be more appreciative of the wonderful moments my grandpa and I shared. The more I think and talk about my grandpa, the more I feel his presence with me, which is the greatest feeling.
To me, the phases of grief are really all about realization, appreciation, memorization, and truly honoring your lost loved ones.
